It’s so easy to get caught up in filters and smooth witty one liners. But when you’re ready for something more serious I developed a gas mask guideline to filter the smoke.
Shall we begin with the breakdown…?
His @ is a distinguishing factor… no grown man should have numbers prior or following their @ (that died with aim and unspoken chatrooms), unless roman numerals because of their family legacy. Peep for ‘da’ ‘fly’ ‘boi’ ‘money’ ‘swag’ … Are these little gems attached to their @?... exit immediately, you cannot remain a respectable woman following 'flyboiswagga', 'trues4evea'or 'darealesteva'. If homeboy replaces letters with symbols or randomly uses caps such as; 'ca$hinoutchri$' or 'm0neEmaKiNmIkE' ... it's safe to say they don't wipe well with scott tissue and most likely have the best of Papoose spinning around in a cd player. His bio contains every nickname he was ever called (or wanted to be) and seals it with some lame quote you would see in a high school yearbook. It’s loaded with emojis to confirm he chases money, lifts or lives somewhere warm (insert money with wings, flexing arm and palm tree).
Maybe you want to look past the @ and struggling bio... understood… let’s move on to his posts. If he participates in #tbt on a regular basis...yea, he can’t let go of the past or his flourishing hairline from 05’. One must be wary of too many shirtless selfies posted…he’s not just fighting for the attention of one. His jergens abs may be captivating but do not be fooled, rest assured that his inbox is full of local hoes, dms with numerous popular @'s and shared nudes. Who can trust a man that wants to remain shirtless that often and doesn't even have an r&b album out. Scroll his photos...random hand signals that he doesn't know the meaning of, pretending he got caught slipping...but it’s just that his arm is mad long to capture the 'im not looking' selfie and typical forced poses to display every name brand he has on. Majority of his pics are blessed with the HDR filter, yuck...nothing screams struggle & late child support payments like a good'ol HDR filter.
The pictures aren't enough justice...?...Girl, you lost, but let's move to his tweets... he tweets a general 'good morning' while last night’s pussy grips the covers on the other side of the bed. This little schemer generates the #twitpicyour... and dabbles in the shark frenzy when the broads need ego stroking. He prays for sundress season just to RT the fresh tl meat, but don't be that naïve... majority of the "just retweeting" pics are in his dm planning his next vacation to meet up and share some frozen drink with two straws so he can inform the xbox live crew he added the honey to 'the list'. While you scroll to check out his where a bouts, you feel at ease that he's tweeting 'in bed on a Friday' 'washed up' 'need a girlfriend' 'gotta stop drinking'... LIES! That little blue bird has all those deceitful, posing, pussy chasers in protective custody... he's not in bed, he's just getting ready to go out...washed up?, yea just washed up in the shower to gain strength for another night of spit game... he meant to say need another girlfriend while bae's on her period. He prays you eat up all 50-140 characters of his amusing fake insight, because you're pure and just don't know any better.
Trust me, keep that gas mask handy... & do not fall victim to shirtless boy wonder and his 'gentleman' tweets
Shall we begin with the breakdown…?
His @ is a distinguishing factor… no grown man should have numbers prior or following their @ (that died with aim and unspoken chatrooms), unless roman numerals because of their family legacy. Peep for ‘da’ ‘fly’ ‘boi’ ‘money’ ‘swag’ … Are these little gems attached to their @?... exit immediately, you cannot remain a respectable woman following 'flyboiswagga', 'trues4evea'or 'darealesteva'. If homeboy replaces letters with symbols or randomly uses caps such as; 'ca$hinoutchri$' or 'm0neEmaKiNmIkE' ... it's safe to say they don't wipe well with scott tissue and most likely have the best of Papoose spinning around in a cd player. His bio contains every nickname he was ever called (or wanted to be) and seals it with some lame quote you would see in a high school yearbook. It’s loaded with emojis to confirm he chases money, lifts or lives somewhere warm (insert money with wings, flexing arm and palm tree).
Maybe you want to look past the @ and struggling bio... understood… let’s move on to his posts. If he participates in #tbt on a regular basis...yea, he can’t let go of the past or his flourishing hairline from 05’. One must be wary of too many shirtless selfies posted…he’s not just fighting for the attention of one. His jergens abs may be captivating but do not be fooled, rest assured that his inbox is full of local hoes, dms with numerous popular @'s and shared nudes. Who can trust a man that wants to remain shirtless that often and doesn't even have an r&b album out. Scroll his photos...random hand signals that he doesn't know the meaning of, pretending he got caught slipping...but it’s just that his arm is mad long to capture the 'im not looking' selfie and typical forced poses to display every name brand he has on. Majority of his pics are blessed with the HDR filter, yuck...nothing screams struggle & late child support payments like a good'ol HDR filter.
The pictures aren't enough justice...?...Girl, you lost, but let's move to his tweets... he tweets a general 'good morning' while last night’s pussy grips the covers on the other side of the bed. This little schemer generates the #twitpicyour... and dabbles in the shark frenzy when the broads need ego stroking. He prays for sundress season just to RT the fresh tl meat, but don't be that naïve... majority of the "just retweeting" pics are in his dm planning his next vacation to meet up and share some frozen drink with two straws so he can inform the xbox live crew he added the honey to 'the list'. While you scroll to check out his where a bouts, you feel at ease that he's tweeting 'in bed on a Friday' 'washed up' 'need a girlfriend' 'gotta stop drinking'... LIES! That little blue bird has all those deceitful, posing, pussy chasers in protective custody... he's not in bed, he's just getting ready to go out...washed up?, yea just washed up in the shower to gain strength for another night of spit game... he meant to say need another girlfriend while bae's on her period. He prays you eat up all 50-140 characters of his amusing fake insight, because you're pure and just don't know any better.
Trust me, keep that gas mask handy... & do not fall victim to shirtless boy wonder and his 'gentleman' tweets
